But is it safe?

I am vulnerable. I am public with my depression.

I should probably make clear: If you talk to me in person, I don’t talk a lot about my depression unless I feel it’s pertinent to the discussion or might be useful in encouraging you to know you’re not alone. This blog is different; its entire purpose is to wrestle with depression when you know you are loved by Christ.

That said, I also don’t hide my brokenness.

That’s what I do. I shared why last week.

What about you? What should you do? Do you dare make yourself vulnerable? Do you dare let people know about your brokenness?

Did you know that Jesus was overwhelmed with sorrow? Not every moment of every day, but we do know that he said as much on at least one occasion: “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death” (Mark 14:34). Jesus stated that bluntly.

Think about how vulnerable that made him. “Overwhelmed, Jesus? I guess you’re not that strong after all. And you’re supposed to be here to rescue humans from sin? I don’t think you can make it!”

How hard was it for the Son of God to admit to broken humans that he was overwhelmed? How hard did it hit when the people he turned to for encouragement fell asleep on him?

Jesus allowed himself to be vulnerable to those closest to him.

We know that on at least a few occasions, he allowed his inner turmoil to become public. He wept at the grave of his friend Lazarus. These weren’t the sniffles, by the way, but loud sobbing. He also wept over Jerusalem and its refusal to allow him to rescue it. In both those occasions, Jesus chose to communicate his pain so that other people could see the extent of his love. There’s even a remark from the crowd at Lazarus’s grave: “Then the Jews said, ‘See how he loved him!’” (John 11:36)

From here, I think we can learn a few principles:

It’s not sinful to allow your emotions to show, even if they’re generally regarded as negative emotions.

We live in a culture where showing sadness is generally looked down on. I’m going to write more about this next week, but if it was ok for Jesus to publicly express grief and pain, it’s ok for you. You do not need to hide your struggles.

It’s not sinful to be selective with whom you share your emotions.

The night before Jesus died, he didn’t give a sermon to the public about his grief. He shared his pain with those closest to him.

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For you, I would encourage you to entrust your depression to a few close friends. If you’re married, certainly talk to your spouse. Having someone who can weep with you while you weep and help carry your burdens is a blessing, and by remaining silent, you may deprive someone of the opportunity to serve God by serving you. Pray for wisdom when you select these people, though.

You do not need to share the news with people who will actively cut you down. You may choose to, as I have done here, but you do not need to. It is not necessary for you to wear your depression on your sleeve, and depending on your circumstance, it may be very unwise to do so.

When sharing your depression, let the goal be love.

Why would you share your depression with another?

Because you love them.

Sometimes the people around you need to know about your struggles. If I hid my depression from my wife, I would not be loving her. She needs to know what I’m going through, so if I’m incapable of fulfilling a task on a given day, she can understand. That knowledge enables her to support me in a loving way. So some people you’ll tell about your depression because it’s loving for them to know and understand what you’re going through.

And sometimes you’ll share your depression so that another person knows they’re not alone. Sometimes by sharing you’ll give permission for another person to address their own struggles in a healthy way. And sometimes by sharing, you’ll be able to share Jesus, the source of your hope.

Note that you’re not sharing to get attention or sympathy. You’re not sharing to get into a pity party or give excuses. You’re not showing off about how hard your life is. Instead, the goal of sharing is love.

Bottom line:

If you’re asking if you should share the fact you have depression with someone else, ask what your goal is. If you’re sharing because you need support from that person, do so. If you’re sharing because doing so shows love to that person, do so.

And I want you to know this: If you’ve been unwise with whom you’ve shared, if you’ve been hurt because someone chose to sin against you with that knowledge:

Jesus has known about your depression long before you had a name for it. And rather than hurt you, rather than mock you, rather than be unwise about it, he loved you.

For the times you shared for any reason other than love, for the times you used your depression as a tool to get your way, for the times you have sinned in your depression: Jesus knew about those sins before he died on the cross. They were no surprise to him. He looks at you in your sin and chooses to forgive you.

Jesus knows about your depression and has always known. And he has never turned away.

There is real comfort!