Ender's Game: Finding Forgiveness ~ Bread for Beggars

Spoilers ahead for the end of Ender’s Game. Seriously, if you like an unspoiled ending, don’t read on!

Ender won. He’s defeated the buggers… by killing them all. He thought it was a training simulation, a game. He didn’t know he was piloting the earth vessels in the actual war. He didn’t know, when he ordered them to drop the bomb, that an actual bomb would actually destroy the bugger home-world, and with it the bugger queens, destroying an entire race in the process.

He didn’t know.

That doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel guilty.

He tries to forget his guilt, but it still lurks. At the end of the book, Valentine asks Ender to join her in colonizing the now-vacant bugger worlds. Ender agrees, but he says, “I just want one thing to be clear. I’m not going for you. I’m not going in order to be governor, or because I’m bored here. I’m going because I know the buggers better than any living soul, and maybe if I go there I can understand them better. I stole their future from them; I can only begin to repay by seeing what I can learn from their past.”

Ender wants to make up for his crimes, and this is the only way he can think to do it. Once he arrives at the bugger planet, he helps set up the colony. Eventually he explores, and he discovers what may well be a trap left by the now-dead race. And when his friend warns him about the deadly possibility, Ender responds, “If they want to get revenge, Abra, I don’t mind.” Ender has learned: He can’t make up for his crimes. They are too great. He cannot atone for what he’s done. And if he dies as a payment for what he’s done? So be it. Maybe then, at last, he will find peace.

What he discovers is beyond his wildest dreams: one last egg. The buggers hid it away for him to find when they knew they were going to die. She’s the last queen, and when she hatches, she will be able to lay ten thousand more eggs.

The queen in the egg is able to communicate, and she tells Ender: “We forgive you.”

Here, finally, Ender finds peace. He could not find it on his own. He could never atone for his crimes. He could never, ever do enough. But when those he wronged bring him forgiveness… now. Now he finds peace.

Ender communicates the queen’s message to the world: “It was written as if the hive-queen spoke, telling all that they had meant to do, and all that they had done. Here are the failures, and here is our greatness; we did not mean to hurt you, and we forgive you for our death.”

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In this last section of Ender’s Game – in fact, all this is in the last chapter – Ender goes through an amazing journey. He wrestles with his sin and recognizes that he cannot forgive himself. In fact, only the person he wronged can forgive him. Without that forgiveness, he is condemned and guilty.
And when he finds that forgiveness from the ones he wronged, when that forgiveness comes from outside of him, completely unearned, he is changed. He reacts to that forgiveness by serving the one who forgave him.

It reminds me a lot of the book of Acts. On the first Pentecost, Peter speaks to the same people who had condemned Jesus to death just a few months before. And Peter doesn’t pull any punches:
“God has made this Jesus, whom you crucified, both Lord and Christ.”

When the people heard this, they were cut to the heart and said to Peter and the other apostles, “Brothers, what shall we do?” (Acts 2:36-37)

Just like Ender, the people recognized that they were guilty. They despaired. They didn’t know what to do. Could they find atonement? Was it possible?

Ender heard the queen forgive him. Only the one he had sinned against had the right to offer that forgiveness. And on Pentecost, only God had the right to forgive the people who had so wronged him. And Peter got to announce the awesome news: Yes. You are forgiven.

Peter replied, “Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. The promise is for you and your children and for all who are far off—for all whom the Lord our God will call.” (Acts 2:38-39)

I’m pretty sure you’re not guilty of wiping out an entire alien civilization, but you are guilty of sin. By ourselves, we’re like Ender: looking for some way to make up for our sins and failing miserably. Ender had to search and find that last queen to find forgiveness. There’s one huge difference between you and Ender:

God searched for you to give you forgiveness.

When Ender found forgiveness, he longed to serve the one who forgave him. It wasn’t to find forgiveness anymore – he already had that. His service was a reaction to that forgiveness.

It is the same with you. Jesus has removed your guilt; he has proclaimed you not guilty. You don’t work to get his forgiveness anymore – why work for what you already have? Instead, you react to that forgiveness and long to serve your Father.

You know, that’s a lot to pack into the last chapter of an already great book. If you haven’t read it yet, let me recommend you find it at a library or buy a copy. And then go see the movie. I still have to do that, but I’m looking forward to seeing how the producers translated everything to the screen. And as you watch, journey with Ender – from the despair of never finding forgiveness, to being given that forgiveness, and then living the rest of his life in the light of that forgiveness.