Arts,  Classical,  Michael Zarling

What do we do when our Plans Fall Through? When we’ve Forgotten how to Live.

Charlie’s mom became extremely ill and bedridden right after his sixth birthday. It didn’t take very long for her to succumb to her illness. Charlie and his father grieved. But Charlie’s dad suffered an emotional breakdown. He became severely depressed and began drinking heavily. … By Charlie’s eighth birthday, his dad had died, too.

Charlie became an orphan.

Social services placed Charlie in a foster home. His foster parents were nice. But they were very busy. Both parents worked long hours. They also had other foster children.

Even though the house was full, Charlie was lonely. Even though he had his homework and chores to do, he was bored. He was surviving but not really thriving.

Charlie started acting up. He purposely misbehaved to get more attention. His foster parents didn’t have the time or patience to deal with Charlie. They begrudgingly asked for Charlie to be removed from their house.

Social services placed Charlie into an orphanage. There were lots of other kids in the orphanage. Charlie wasn’t bored. He wasn’t lonely. … But he wasn’t loved, either.

There were adults to watch the kids, but they didn’t act as his parents. There were lots of other kids, but they didn’t treat him as a brother. Charlie had plenty to do, but he couldn’t really go anywhere or do anything. No club sports. No family vacations. He was alive, but not really living.

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Charlie was eventually placed with another foster family. At first, it didn’t seem any different than when he had been with his first foster family. There were other kids in the house. His foster parents worked hard. Charlie started misbehaving. But these foster parents were different. Instead of scolding him and threatening to return him to the orphanage, they told Charlie they loved him.

This shocked Charlie. It had been years since he had anyone tell him that they loved him.

His foster parents asked if they could hold his hand, then eventually hug him, and finally, even give him a kiss on the cheek. Even though none of this sounded cool to a pre-teen boy, Charlie said “yes.” He needed the physical contact, the closeness, and the expressions of love.

Charlie’s foster parents also asked him if it was okay with him if they adopted him. They wanted him to be their son.

Charlie said “yes” to that, too! He was finally going to have what he had been missing all these years – a real family! Everything he had dealt with the past few years was now ending! Not just surviving, but thriving! Not just being alive, but really living! Not just being in a house, but being in a home filled with love.


Perhaps you’ve felt a lot like Charlie lately. You are in your house, but you’re missing your whole family. You can’t watch your kids play club soccer or go with your family on a vacation. You’ve had to do a social distancing birthday party for your kids. You can’t go visit your mom in the nursing home. You can’t give your extended family or close friends a hug. You haven’t been able to attend your loved one’s wedding or funeral.

We’re surviving. But we’re not really thriving.

We’re alive. But we’re really not living.

It is a weird paradox that we are experiencing right now. We are working so hard to preserve our lives … but then we are not permitting ourselves to live.

Perhaps the feelings we are experiencing now can be compared to an orphan child who has lost family, fun, and physical expressions of love. He is left only with fear, confusion, and loneliness. The orphan feels alone on the earth. With his parents gone, it looks like there is no one left to care for him.

Today we examine “What do we do when our plans fall through and we’ve forgotten how to live?” Jesus gives a wonderful and timely promise that he will not leave us orphaned. We will not be alone. He sends the Holy Spirit to us.

“I will not leave you as orphans; I am coming to you. In a little while the world will see me no longer, but you will see me. Because I live, you also will live.”

John 14:18-19

The setting for these verses is Thursday evening of Holy Week. Jesus is in the upper room with his disciples. He is preparing them for his departure – both to the cross and through his ascension to heaven. He doesn’t want them to think they are being abandoned and left alone. He is giving them instructions on how to keep on living and loving after his death.

Besides giving us himself, Jesus promises another Helper.

“I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor to be with you forever. He is the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive because it does not see him or know him. You know him because he stays with you and will be in you.”

John 14:15-17

The Holy Spirit is your Helper, Comforter, and Counselor. The Greek word translated “Counselor” is the word “Paraclete.” A Paraclete is someone who comes alongside someone to help. For example, in a courtroom, the Paraclete is the one who argues for the client to prove their innocence or advocate their position. Generally, a Paraclete is one who helps someone who cannot help themselves.

The Holy Spirit also assures us we are not alone. We are not abandoned. The Holy Spirit is alongside us. He advocates for us. He dwells within us.

He was given to you in your baptism. His power was conferred upon you in the laying on of hands at your confirmation. The Holy Spirit continues to work faith and love in you through his Means of Grace – the Gospel in Word and Baptism and the Lord’s Supper.

The Dome of St. George Monastery in Israel

All of us understand why these last two months have been so hard for us. God created us to be social, active, and physical people. All of that has been removed by our response to this virus.

Others may be afraid of death. Christians and their churches have seen death since the beginning of time. That’s why the Church has remained open in times of war, pandemic, plague, economic disaster, and every other kind of threat you can imagine. The Church is specifically designed by Christ to be a place where Christians can live and love and be a refuge to the hurting, wounded, sick, frail, elderly, and dying.

It’s very easy for us to become myopic and look only at ourselves, our nation, and our time in history at any time – but especially in times of crisis. Yet, when we open our eyes to look beyond ourselves, into the world and throughout history, we see that the world is a very dangerous place – especially for Christians. … It always has been.

This virus has shuttered churches for a time. But Satan uses other means to close churches and terrify Christians – arrest, public opinion, persecutions, and even church bombings. We can be afraid of viruses and violence. Fear is not something to dismiss … But it is something to be overcome.

Through our Counselor and Comforter, the Holy Spirit, we overcome fear. Though we may afraid, let us live and love boldly, trusting in the care and compassion of our Lord.

Brothers and sisters in Christ, you are not alone. The Holy Spirit is with you. Through your baptism, you are adopted into our Father’s family.

Return to thriving, not just surviving.

Jesus’ love flows through you. His love gives you the motivation and power to love others. Express that love in cards, in phone calls, yes – even on social media. God created us to be physical people. When the time is right and you feel comfortable, demonstrate that love with a handshake, a hug, even a “holy kiss” (2 Corinthians 13:12).

Don’t just be alive. Live.

So many of the elderly homebound members I’ve ministered to over the years have expressed their sadness and frustration at being alive but not really living. One aged saint became homebound for eight months as he was dying of cancer. All he could do was eat, watch TV, and do puzzles. He said to me, “This is no way to live.”

No, it isn’t.

Community, family, companionship, physical contact, physical activities – God wants us not just to be alive, but to live. As Christians, we don’t live with the fear of death hanging over us. We live with the confidence of the resurrection from the dead always ahead of us.

Even when our plans fall through, we live by faith in Jesus’ words, “Because I live, you also will live.”

For the first 8 years of my ministry, I served at Faith Lutheran Church, an exploratory congregation in Radcliff, KY. I presently serve at Epiphany Lutheran Church and Wisconsin Lutheran School (WLS) in Racine, WI. I am also very involved with our youth as the WLS head soccer coach and the head counselor for WELS Training Camp, a youth camp for 3rd – 9th graders. I have been married to Shelley for 20 years. Together we have 4 beautiful daughters – Abigail, Miriam, Lydia and Gabrielle. We also have 2 dogs – Messi and Mia – named after Lionel Messi and Mia Hamm (the Zarling family really likes soccer!)

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