…I’m a Disappointment

Dear God,

I’m so ashamed. I have been such a disappointment to my family, to my friends, to my co-workers, and to my church…to everyone…to you.

It can be very difficult for me to move beyond that statement. The guilt and shame I feel over what I have done can consume my thoughts, tear me to pieces inside, and flood over into how I go about my daily life.

It’s true — I do fail. And the perfectionist in me can’t bear the thought of living another day like that — not when so many other people seem to be doing so much better! Not when so many other people appear to have their acts so much more together!

Something I tend to forget in my striving for “perfection” — and crashing into flames of despair when that goal isn’t reached — is that I am not alone in my predicament.

All have failed.

“…for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God…” (Romans 3:23)

In the light of God’s holiness and justice, all people — male and female, young and old, wealthy and poor, famous and unknown, from the time of Adam to the present and the future — have failed. And because of that, the only thing we deserve is death and separation from the righteous Lord, our Creator.

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But — all were shown mercy.

“‘For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life'” (John 3:16).

In his love, God gave us a lifebuoy — himself. Not when we were “good enough” and deserving of his saving. Not when we had “done enough” in our lives to earn the privilege of attaining his mercy. He provided hope when we were hopeless…

…when we were disappointments.

“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8).

I’ve failed again, oh God;
I’ve stumbled on the road.
I’ve given in to sin once more
and cannot bear to look on your
almighty, holy face.

I’m undeserving, God;
I cannot earn your love.
But gave you did, and now by faith
I need not fear the hellish grave —
because of your undying grace.

Bible Reading: Psalm 51:1-12