You are loved.

I don’t know the exact variation of the lies your depression whispers to you. But God does. He knows your depression, and he knows the exact form it takes for you. He knows the lies. I know that it seems your heart is the one telling you these things, and everything in our culture tells you to trust your heart. You know the truth, though. Your heart lies. (Jeremiah 17:9) Do not trust it. Even now. Especially now.

Jesus knows your depression. And he’s not ashamed of you. He knows what you’ve kept in secret. He knows what I don’t know. And he’s not ashamed of you. He’s not ashamed to call you, “Brother. Sister.” (Hebrews 2:11) Jared Wilson writes, “We forgot then and we forget now that Jesus is for losers and for losers only.” He is for you.

He takes your shame and he looks at it. I don’t know what that shame is, but Jesus does. And if that shame is sin, he condemns it. He sees it for the darkness it is. He sees it for the filth it is. But your secrets and your depression will not pay for your sin. No matter how bad you feel, you cannot remove it.

But Jesus did. Your weakness, your shame, your sin, all of it. He chose to take it from you.

I know you know this already. I hope you hear it every week from your pastor. But it is so, so easy to believe the lie that Jesus died for them, for everyone else, but not for me. Or that he only died for me because I’m part of the package of “everyone.” And so you try to live up to Jesus, to not be so bad.

You don’t need more Law. You need more Gospel.

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You, even you, are loved.

Rebecca Reynolds writes,

Before [my adopted son], I didn’t understand what fierce love God holds for those he has adopted into his family. I didn’t realize that when he pursues us, he knows all our damage and our defects – and he knows exactly where we rank on every system humans use to determine our value. He stares straight into all of the world’s opinions of us and yet proclaims that we are the wanted ones. No matter how anybody has let us down, hurt us, forgotten us, we are still longed for and beloved children.

But my love for him is so weak. And it is. Brennan Manning writes,

Though Israel had played the prostitute whoring after false gods, the prophets cry the constancy of God in the face of human infidelity: “Israel, don’t ever be so foolish as to measure my love for you in terms of your love for me! Don’t ever compare your thin, pallid, wavering, and moody love with my love, for I am God, not man.”

Despite the lies your heart whispers, despite what you feel, despite all evidence to the contrary: You are loved. You are dearly loved. When your depression rages, hang on to this: You, even you, are loved.