Shouldn’t I be happy?

I’m a Christian, aren’t I? Shouldn’t I be happy? Jesus died for me. He took my sins away. I have eternal life. Depression shouldn’t affect me at all!

Let me laugh for a moment.

Look, the Gospel gives joy. It really does. Paul says, “Rejoice in the Lord always! I will say it again: Rejoice!” Check out Philippians 4:4. Paul wrote that at a time he thought he might soon be executed for the faith. He knew how to rejoice even in hardship.

We are freed from our sins. We are made children of God. We have a home in heaven. And yes, the response to all this is joy. But joy is not the same thing as happiness.

What is joy?

Joy is a reaction to reality. We are saved. Jesus has died for us. Nothing can change these facts. Nothing can shake what is real. Joy is a fruit of the Spirit and grows through the Gospel.

How is that different from happiness?

Happiness is a reaction to circumstances. That smile you feel when things are going well? That’s happiness. It’s not a sin. Praise God for the gift of happiness! (Look up Ecclesiastes 5:19 if you don’t believe me. God doesn’t want you to be frowning all the time!) But nowhere does God tell us to go around grinning like idiots. If he had, Jesus himself would have sinned. Remember, Jesus wept and was familiar with sorrows. (Check out John 11:35 and Isaiah 53:5 for more on that.)

It is possible to know joy and not feel happy. It is also possible to feel happy and not know joy. Proverbs expresses that thought well: “Even in laughter the heart may ache, and joy may end in grief.” (Proverbs 14:13)

But I’m Christian.

Does being a Christian mean I need to be happy, or at least fake happiness? Not at all. While there are certainly times when we need to control our emotions, I would argue that “faking happiness” at least approaches giving false testimony about ourselves. We do want to speak the truth in love, and while that love may mean setting aside emotions for a short time, we certainly don’t want to deceive.

What about me? I’m a pastor. Shouldn’t I live in that joy even more?

Paul doesn’t call us to exhibit a “positive attitude” nor demand a “chipper personality.” (Check out Titus 1:7-9 to see what he does say.) If you feel pressure to always look happy on a Sunday morning because good Christians always smile, let me release that pressure for you: if it’s ok for Jesus, it’s ok for you. Jesus wept. He didn’t always smile.

Even when you’re not smiling.

It is not your job to be happy.

You have permission to be broken.

Don’t find comfort in faking happiness.

Instead, find real comfort for real hurt in Jesus.

Take your very real hurt to a very real Savior who knows what it’s like to experience sorrow. Hear him as he says to you, “I know your pain, and I grieve with you. Know that your sorrow will end. I have borne all the guilt of this world, all the shame — all your shame, too. I love you, even when you’re not smiling.”