Can You Hear Me?

Lord, do you hear me?

Lord, can you hear my voice?

Do my words sound accusatory, oh Lord? Are they?

The last thing I want to do is stand here and demand of you, Lord  — you, the almighty Creator of the heavens and the earth, the Savior of the world, the Sanctifier of souls. The last thing I want to be is unthankful and blind to your goodness and mercy.

But dear God, I come to you in earnest: you seem silent towards me.

“I cried out to God for help; I cried out to God to hear me.”

Psalm 77:1

Oh Lord, I know that I in no way can measure up to your holiness, your glory, your omniscience. In no way can I claim to understand how everything comes together to fit your design and achieve your purposes. In no way do I know better than you about how the trajectory of my life should go.

But Lord, I feel so lost. It’s like I’m struggling on alone in a cave: it’s dark, it’s quiet, and I can’t find a way out. I’m straining to hear a voice to tell me which way to go — but I can’t hear it. And the paths I thought were right seemed to go nowhere — or take me back to where I started.

I feel like I can do nothing more than just stand here in the foreboding blackness and wait. Wait…

…but how can I? Shouldn’t I be doing something, something to help get myself out of here? 

If only I could hear a voice! If only I could hear a call…

I would run. Run! Wouldn’t I?…

I know I’ve made wrong choices in the past, Lord. Slammed doors when I should have opened them…and opened them when I should have closed them. Shut myself away when I should have opened myself up…and opened myself up when I should have backed away…

And here I am. I leave a myriad of bad decisions in my wake, and I am afraid. Afraid that if I move, another wrong choice is going to be my next step. Afraid that if I stay, nothing will change for the better. Afraid it’s all never going to change…

I want to change, Lord. Oh, I want to change so much! I glimpse your throne, your power, your love for me in the pages of your Word…

“You are the God who performs miracles; you display your power among the peoples.”

Psalm 77:14

 …and I desire to run in all joy and confidence. To run while leaving your touch on everyone and everything that shows up along the way.

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What is it, Lord?

My hands get clammy, my heart beats rapidly, my mind swims.

What is it?

Then it comes. A voice. A voice that comes from that same Word.

“Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory.”

Psalm 73:23-24

You, the Lord of light, have not forgotten this lost little creature in the cave. You are with me now. You know where I’ve been, you know where I am, and you know where I’ll be.

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

Romans 8:28

The sun never really goes away when clouds blanket the sky above. The sun never really disappears from the universe when night descends upon my corner of the earth. It will appear in all its glory once again.

But Lord, how long will this night last?

Oh Lord, when will these clouds dissipate?

When will these days in the cave of uncertainty break forth into days of clarity?

Lord, do you hear me?

Lord, can you hear my voice?

You do hear me…

“…for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” (Psalm 23:4b)

…and because of that, it will be okay.