In Want, My Food; My Company in Solitude

When Jesus looked up and saw a huge crowd coming toward him, he asked Philip, “Where can we buy bread for these people to eat?” But Jesus was saying this to test him, for he himself knew what he was going to do.

Philip answered him, “Two hundred denarii worth of bread would not be enough for each of them to have just a little.”

One of his disciples, Andrew, Simon Peter’s brother, said to him, “There’s a boy here who has five barley loaves and two fish, but what is that for so many people?”

Jesus said, “Have the people sit down.” There was plenty of grass in that place, so they sat down. There were about five thousand men.

Then Jesus took the loaves and, after giving thanks, he distributed pieces to those who were seated. He also did the same with the fish—as much as they wanted. (John 6:5-11)

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This is a crisis. There are probably over 10,000 people in the wilderness who have traveled around the sea – on foot – to get to Jesus as he was healing people. There is no way the people can get home now because of how late it is. Many might faint and possibly even die on the way home.

The disciples are in a panic. They don’t know what to do. Not only is there not any village around that would possibly have enough food for all these people, they didn’t have enough money. Those five loaves and two small fish some boy has are probably not even enough for the disciples to have even one meal.

But Jesus is not worried.

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First, he has the people sit down. Then, he prays. He gives thanks for the food – the small, meager amount – which God has graciously provided.

We’re not with a group of 10,000 people. Right now we can’t even be in groups of more than 10. So while our situation is totally the opposite, we’re in a crisis, too. And maybe we don’t know what to do. We don’t know if we’ll stay healthy, if we’ll have enough food to last, or what our money situation will be in a couple of weeks or months. We panic too.

But Jesus pauses, even amidst their panic, to pray. He doesn’t let the people devour the food because they are in a crisis and starving. He treats this crisis like a normal meal. And then He feeds them, so that every single one of them is full.

We can’t say that in the crisis we are in – or any crisis – that after this is all over God will magically make us end up with more than we had before. But what God has promised is that he will provide you with what you need.

And realize, too, that what you need the most, is actually spiritual bread. In the Old Testament, the Israelites were fed manna from heaven, something John reminds us of by mentioning the Feeding of the 5,000 happened at the Passover. Today, he still feeds us with Bread from Heaven, his body and blood in the Lord’s Supper. Jesus gives us the Gospel for us to eat and be satisfied and strengthened.

Unfortunately, at this unique time, we may have to go a little while – we may have to fast – before receiving the Sacrament again. And so we may feel our hunger for Christ’s means of grace, his heavenly bread, now more than ever. In a sense, our entire lives are just a waiting period of isolation until God brings us into our true home of heaven where there will be no social distancing, but perfect Communion.  

I have no doubt that one of the things that made the disciples even more stressed and anxious and worried was that, as Mark’s Gospel says, “they did not even have a chance to eat” (Mark 6:31).  And yet, Jesus knowingly takes them across the Sea, and he knowingly has them wait all day until they are able to eat and rest. And again, what he’s doing is showing them which food and which rest is most important. The disciples have to provide for themselves before they can provide for others, not just with physical bread, but God’s Word.

The same is true if you are on the front lines of helping people right now or if you are a parent staying at home with your kids. You are not enough for this crisis.

Like the disciples, you don’t have enough that can overcome this – enough food, enough money, enough strength, or enough will power. But your Lord is enough.   

And when all else has lost its zest,
This manna still shall feed me;
In thirst my drink, in want my food;
My company in solitude,
To comfort and to lead me.

– Paul Gerhardt, A Lamb Goes Uncomplaining Forth, v. 8

Jesus is your priceless treasure. Worth more than anything else you could stash in your house at this time. And if you get stressed or worried the next few days, weeks, or months, before you go to the cupboard and start stress-eating on junk food, open God’s Word. Open God’s Word as a family. “Fill up” on Jesus, the Bread of Life.

Through him, you possess more than you could ever know. He is your greatest treasure in poverty. Your joy in sorrow. Your shield in conflict. Your drink in thirst. Your food in want. Your company in solitude.

Jesus will not let you go hungry and faint on your way to heaven. So don’t fear and worry because of anything you don’t have right now. Rather, rejoice, because you have everything you need. You have Jesus.

7. Enlarge, O thou, my heart, thy shrine,
To hold this treasure given;
Far greater treasure here is thine
Than earth and sea and heaven.
Away, gold of Arabia,
Away, myrrh, aloes, cassia!
I’ve found a better portion,
My greater treasure, Jesus Christ,
Is this which from Thy wounds most blest
Flowed forth for my salvation.

8. This treasure ever I’ll employ,
This ev’ry aid shall yield me;
In sorrow it shall be my joy,
In conflict it shall shield me;
In joy, the music of my feast,
And when all else has lost its zest,
This manna still shall feed me;
In thirst my drink, in want my food;
My company in solitude,
To comfort and to lead me.

Hymn 331 in the Evangelical Lutheran Hymnary.
By Paul Gerhardt, 1607-76; Tr. Handbook to the Lutheran Hymnal, St. Louis, 1942, and H. Bartels, b. 1929, alt.