You are Not Too Much

Stupid.

You feel the anger and the despair and the shame braiding together in your heart. You did it again.

You were too loud.

You were trying too hard.

You can’t believe you said that.

You need to learn to shut up. You need to learn to back off. You need to learn to just hide everything you are because you end up just blurting out all the things in your heart and scaring everyone off like you did again this time and you can’t believe –

You’re too much.

But your heart was full again. Full of excitement or anger or eagerness and it just overflowed and splashed everyone around you and now they’re staring at you. Or maybe they’re not, but only because they’re too nice. But they’re all thinking it, aren’t they?

And now you wish you were less.

My child.

Oh, my child. Let me gather you up, all your scattered pieces, all of you, the parts that feel like they are too large and too loud and too much, and let me hold you.

You.

You are not too much.

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Painted Skies

Did you know, when I created the world, when I painted the skies, I made every sky different?

Some skies are so bright they hurt your eyes and make your heart wish it could be big enough to fill that space.

Some skies I made gray, so you would know that even creation weeps sometimes.

Some skies I painted the color of fire to show that passion is not wrong.

And all those skies, every single one, I declared them all good.

And if I put so much effort into a sky that is here for only a few hours, if I put such variety into an atmosphere that is always shifting, don’t you think that I would put even more effort into knitting you together? When I say I knit you in your mother’s womb, that wasn’t just about your body. It was about your soul and personality, too.

You are not too much.

Redeemed

And you know what happened to the sky: It fell under the curse. The sky is not always good now. Sometimes it howls. Sometimes it shatters peace. Sometimes it carries disaster.

Even so, I have redeemed the sky. A new heavens and a new earth is coming, and the sky will be restored to all the glory it had before.

If I will go so far for a sky that is gone in a moment, how far do you think I will go for you who will live forever?

You know that sometimes you are too much for the people around you. Often it’s because I knit you to wear your heart on your sleeve. Sometimes, though, your pride makes you too much. Sometimes it’s because you revel in attention for attention’s sake. Sometimes you’ve misused what I wove you to be.

Though you are not too much, you are still as broken as the sky.

I have redeemed you, too.

If I went so far as to restore the temporary sky I painted, I have gone so much farther for you whom I have crafted to be with me forever. You are not too much. And your sins, your sorrows, your searching heart, none of them are too much for me.

I have carried your sins. I have borne your sorrows. And your searching heart finds rest in me.

You are not too much. Bring me your big, big heart. Vent your fury. Loose your sorrow. Bring me your questions and your joys and your tears. I will not turn away. I made you to be this much. I will not reject you now! Oh, dear one. You are not too much.

I am with you always. To the very end of the age.

(Matthew 28:20)