You are Not the Source of Rest

My brain wouldn’t let me sleep. It kept talking at me. My brain can get really annoying that way. See, we’ve got an important congregational meeting coming up, and my brain kept whispering, nagging, clawing at me. It played through the meeting over and over in variations like the worst multiverse I could ever plunge myself into.

And now my brain and I aren’t on speaking terms. I told my brain to go to sleep. It ignored me. So now I’m going to ignore it.

And as I lay there, the Holy Spirit used my knowledge of God’s Word to remind me of some of the things he’s said:

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“Be still and know that I am God.”

Psalm 46:10

Be still, Luke. Even when your brain won’t listen, be still. I am God. Not you. I’ve looked over every possibility that could happen. I’m going to use it for your good. And don’t worry. Not just your good. It’ll be for your congregation’s good, too. You see, I am God, and I can see all the options. Be still.

But I wasn’t still. Not at all. My brain and I did battle again, and I was losing.

I was reminded of another verse:

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”

Matthew 11:28

And I was tired. Not only was it late at night, but I was exhausted from going through all the possibilities over and over and over again. It was too much to do to figure out all the options. I wanted rest.

Finding the right answer wouldn’t give me rest. I couldn’t find the right answer, anyway.

Conjuring the correct set of circumstances was outside my control. Trying to do it wouldn’t give me any rest.

Constructing the proper phrasing wouldn’t give me any rest, and attempting to do so was a burden beyond me.

I needed someone to give me rest, and that someone wasn’t me. It certainly wasn’t my brain. It was something else entirely.

Someone else entirely.

A song I learned long ago ran through my head:

I heard the voice of Jesus say,
“Come unto Me and rest;
Lay down, thou weary one, lay down,
Thy head upon My breast.”
I came to Jesus as I was,
Weary and worn and sad;
I found in Him a resting-place,
And He has made me glad.

– Michael Card

I wanted to rest. I wanted to so badly. I needed that rest. I couldn’t find it in anything I did.

And so I kept running to those Bible verses. I kept seeking refuge from myself. I was so weary. I was worn.

And eventually sleep took me.

I’m not in charge of finding my own rest.

I want to be so often, though. I think I can finally rest if I figure the solution to this problem, or if I get this work done, or if I finally create peace.

But if I can’t even control my own brain, what makes me think I can solve much of anything?

But here is Jesus. He has given me rest. I’m not in charge of finding rest anymore. He did the work for me. He did the work of keeping the rules. He did the work of creating peace between me and his Father. He did the work of making me his child. He did the work of putting me and the other Christians I deal with in the same family.

I can rest. The work is done.

Finally, at long last, I can rest.