This is it.

I started writing about depression on this blog in January. Now, eight months later, I come to an end. My depression isn’t over. It won’t be over until I see Jesus face-to-face. But… there’s only so much a person can say, and well, I think I’ve reached the end!

When I started, I thought I’d have enough material for maybe three months of weekly posts. I was wrong! Every week as I looked at what to share, I found more nooks and crannies to discuss. And I probably repeated myself. A lot.

But you know, I’m a pastor. Pastors tend to talk and repeat themselves. Maybe you’ve noticed.

And hopefully something you’ve seen repeated over and over:

Your heart lies.

Look, I understand. I believe those lies so often, too. I have been left hollow by the whispers that come out from that darkened heart. Lies that say I am unloved and unlovable. Lies that say I am useless. Lies that cocoon me in shame.

But these are lies.

Depression does not have you. You have depression. Jesus has you.

I want you to remember this on dark days and darker nights. When your strength is gone, when you’ve given up the fight, remember: Jesus holds you. He delighted to know you – and not the fake-smile-you, not the everything’s-fine-you, but the real you that you hide in the shadows because you don’t want to scare anyone. He knew you, and said, “I delight to rescue you.”

That’s right. Delight.

For the joy of giving you a mansion in heaven – you! – he became your brother, walked this broken earth, learned pain, suffered hell, and lives again. Everything you’re ashamed of? He has borne it. He is not ashamed of you.

And remember: Today will end. When the darkness creeps in, when the lies leave you hollow, remember: Today will end.

And the tomorrow that comes will never end.

You will be whole. No more will you know the hollowness of depression. Your heart will beat in time to a glorious symphony. You will be filled with light – and not light that makes you hide your eyes, but light that you raise your arms into to soak in with all your might.

And do you know why you will finally be healed?

Because you will see Jesus face-to-face. The one who delights in you will show you the new creation he made you to be. Every shadow will flee in body and heart and mind. The One who chooses to bear the scars that saved you will embrace you unafraid and unflinching.

If you’ve gotten anything out of these posts, I hope it’s this: Jesus is not ashamed to have rescued you from your sin and loves you even as you struggle with depression.

Thank you for all the many encouraging comments I’ve received. You have encouraged me on my journey as well! I may return on occasion as more topics come up to me. Feel free to comment here if there are particular topics you would like visited or revisited from a different angle. In the meantime, you can always read or reread older posts here at Bread for Beggars. They’re archived for your perusal!

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Again: Thank you. I am humbled God has used my words to encourage so many.

Remember:

Depression doesn’t have you.

You have depression.

Jesus has you.

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A note from the editor:

Luke, on behalf of the entire team at Bread for Beggars, thank you! Your willingness to be transparent in your brokenness in front of countless… has helped countless. Your encouragement shines with the wisdom that can come only from a walk in darkness, always pointed toward the light of Christ. May the sun shine upon you!

Originally posted in January 2019:

Introducing: Pastor Luke Italiano the Magnificent

He claims no one uses the “Magnificent” part, but we’re pretty sure he’d like it included in his bio. A self-described geek who is happy gazing at his libraries (yes, plural), Luke has been writing for as long as he can remember and succinctly explains,

“Because. Writers write. I write. Therefore I’m a writer.”  

The worlds’ only writer AND pastor to answer a question in under ten words. Okay, we’ll ask another way.

Really, what pulls you in?

This might sound hokey, but story simply grabs me. It doesn’t have to be a particular story at all. There’s a reason that I love Matthew, Mark, and Luke more than I love John. They’re all great biographies of Jesus, but the other three generally focus more on narrative, and that speaks more to me. The stories of grace in the Bible always blow me away, and every time I find new ways that God has shown his love.

So you’re passionate about writing- but you’re also a pastor. How does that happen?

The honest truth is that I started training to become a pastor for some wrong reasons. My senior year of high school I had already been accepted at Brown University for television production. I wanted to get a degree in editing – something I loved doing for the tv show I ran with friends.

My girlfriend at the time went to a church that was very different from mine. The music rocked, and the forty-minute sermon every week touched my life in ways that I didn’t recognize my home church’s sermons doing. However, I knew it taught some things that were wrong, so I wasn’t going to just switch. So most of the way through my senior year I changed my mind and decided to become a pastor and fix my church body.

My first year at college, no one listened to this genius 18-year-old. Go figure.

I left college very angry after that first year with no intent to return.

God used the next year to really humble me. It was a hard year that ground me down in a lot of ways. But after that year I decided to return to college in pursuit of serving. I didn’t even care if it was as a pastor; I just wanted to serve. And that’s still my attitude today: I just want to serve.

Tell us about one way you serve.

I want people to see Jesus. Every week, I visit a local rehab hospital where I chaplain. Many of the people I see don’t know the stories of the Bible. When I share the story of the Prodigal Son or Jesus calming the storm or Elijah falling into despair, it connects the Bible to them, and they see that maybe this thing really does speak to their lives. And I get to show them the God who loves sinners like me – and like them.

Do you consider yourself successful?

Successful… in what way? That’s a hard question to answer!

I look at my wife. I don’t deserve a woman that awesome. That’s success! I look at where I serve. I am so blessed here. So there, that’s a success! I look at my writing career… what career? That’s not a success, as I’ve not published any novels or anything like that. However, I write every week, getting to share Jesus, and that’s a success there – how could I not succeed when the goal is pointing to Jesus? So… um, yeah. I guess I consider myself successful when I think about it. I just don’t usually think about it!

Last question, Luke. And this one might lead well into the topic of your blog posts. Tell us why you’re willing to share such deeply personal information with us weekly on Bread for Beggars?

I have seen in many conservative church bodies a reluctance to talk about depression. I hid it for several years. But when I started sharing that I have depression, I not only received support, but found that my sharing encouraged others. I want to be transparent and hope that I can continue encouraging others!