Shame

I know you want to hide it. You have this darkness inside of you. I’m not even talking about your depression. There is this thing that you are ashamed of. Maybe it’s something you did long ago. Maybe it’s a habit you’ve tried to break for years, maybe decades. You know it’s wrong, and yet it has enslaved you.

Your depression takes that darkness and shoves your face in it. “Look at this!” it screams. “You call yourself a Christian? How could you claim that title when you do that? You are no Christian. You don’t deserve to be in God’s family.”

And so the shame strikes and sinks into your skin and your heart and weighs you down. You hide.

My friend, Jesus knows what you have done.

And he is not ashamed.

“Both the one who makes men holy and those who are made holy are of the same family. So Jesus is not ashamed to call them brothers.” (Hebrews 2:11) Jesus is not ashamed to call you his brother, his sister. He claims you as his own.

Your depression tells you that you are worse. You may know in your head that your sin is no worse than any other’s. You may know that you are forgiven. But the depression rushes in and tries to smother that knowledge.

Don’t believe that lie.

Whatever darkness your depression shames you over: Jesus knows and has forgiven it. He is not ashamed of you.

Whatever darkness you struggle with now and try to keep secret out of shame: your temptation is common. And Jesus himself faced that temptation. He didn’t do it to shame you. He didn’t do it to show you “how easy it is.” He did it to free you. He faced it and defeated it to give you his victory.

He didn’t roll his eyes that he had to do it. He chose you, before the foundation of the world, knowing fully all there is to know about you.

And now you are forgiven.

Jesus himself stands beside you and declares, “This is my brother! This one is my sister! This one is mine! I won’t look away from him, and I won’t turn my head. I know everything there is to know about him. He can’t scare me away! I have paid for him with my blood, and no one can take him from my hand!”

I understand shame. I know what those lies whisper.

They are lies.

Jesus is not ashamed of you.

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Prayer: Jesus, I want to hide. I know my sin. It strangles me. And yet, it still calls to me and I want to go to it. Help me, Lord. Help me fight this temptation. You tell me you are not ashamed, even when I struggle with this. Take my sin now. Wash me. Make me new. Speak the truth to me when my depression lies. Amen.