Is it ok?
Maybe you’ve heard it before. Maybe you’ve laughed. Maybe you’ve shrugged at it. Whatever your reaction, I want you to know: It’s true.
It’s ok to not be ok.
David cried out to the Lord. “How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me?” (Psalm 13:1-2)
He wrestled with his thoughts… even as you wrestle with yours. He experienced sorrow in his heart, even as you do.
He didn’t keep it in. He didn’t say, “I’ll get over this.” He didn’t pretend everything was ok.
He cried out to God.
Don’t pretend everything is ok when you struggle through a depressive episode. Cry out to God. He knows your heart. He will not be shocked at what is going on inside of you. Take it to the Lord in prayer.
“Look on me and answer, O Lord my God. Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death; my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,” and my foes will rejoice when I fall.” (Psam 13:3-4) Maybe it doesn’t sound very Christian to say… but David, a man after God’s own heart, said it.
It’s ok to not be ok.
But even in his distress, even as David cries out to God, hear his confidence: “But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, for he has been good to me.” (Psalm 13:5-6)
Even now, he trusts in God’s love. Even as he feels that God has forgotten him, David knows the truth: God’s love has not failed. And cannot fail. It will not fail. Even now, when it feels as if God has hidden his face, David rejoices in God’s salvation. Even in this pit, David will sing to the Lord.
Admitting your struggle does not make you unfaithful. Confessing your depression does not make you unworthy to be a minister of the Word.
It means that you know your weakness and you turn to God for rescue.
So when the darkness comes, cry out. Your God’s love will not fail you. You may not feel him, but he has not abandoned you. He has not turned his face from you. You are not being petty as you pray for yourself. You are not being unfaithful as you struggle with this brokenness.
Let me encourage you: use Psalm 13. Pray it. Let it give voice to your grief.
But do not forget those last verses. Even now, even in the darkness, God’s love does not fail you. He has not forgotten you. He has already saved you.
Prayer: How long will you forget me, O God? Open my mouth to give voice to my cry. You know my grief. You know my struggle. Lord, I offer it up to you. Take all that I am. I trust your unfailing love; remind me of that unfailing love now. Do not forget me. Amen.
Photo HT: “How Long Lord?” Chris Powers at Full of Eyes
Luke Italiano
Luke Italiano is a pastor in Florence, KY. He has a beautiful bride and four children. He's a self-confessed geek. He also loves a story well-told.
