Diagnosis

You know something’s wrong. Have you seen the doc yet?

Why not?

You afraid of what he’ll say?

Or maybe you’ve already been to the doc, and he’s given a name to what you struggle with: Depression.

There’s something about a diagnosis that can be terrifying. You know that you’ve struggled for a long time. You know that something isn’t clicking the way it should. But to actually name that darkness seems to give it power. It’s easier to pretend there’s nothing wrong when it doesn’t have a name. Once you’ve got a diagnosis, there’s no more pretending.

Diagnosis is necessary. And the diagnosis changes nothing.

Think about the diagnosis like a mirror. All it does is reveal reality. And in that way, it’s very much like the Law.

The Law reveals our sinful condition. It rips off the mask that leads us to say, “I’m pretty ok.” Romans 3:20 says, “Therefore no one will be declared righteous in his sight by observing the law; rather, through the law we become conscious of sin.”

Are you frightened by that Law? It cuts, doesn’t it? It reveals that I have not served God with all that I am. It reveals that I have failed to love my neighbor so, so often. That I am not good enough. I don’t serve well enough. I have failed.

But the Law doesn’t change anything. It simply reveals reality and makes me deal with it.

Or rather, it makes me realize I can’t deal with it. That I need a Savior.

That Savior has come for you. You’re not good enough; he is. And he has dressed you in his robes of righteousness. “But now a righteousness from God, apart from law, has been made known, to which the Law and the Prophets testify. This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.” (Romans 3:21-24)

So what does that have to do with the fear of your diagnosis?

Just as the diagnosis of the Law doesn’t change you, it simply makes you aware of reality, the diagnosis of depression does not change you. It simply makes you aware of the reality.

Jesus dealt with your sin. He knew your darkness. He knew your filth. And he loved you. He said, “I will fight for you.” Your depression doesn’t change anything for him, either. You are still a loved child of God.

Do not fear this diagnosis. It simply reveals reality.

Prayer: Lord Jesus, I tremble at this word: depression. I fear it. I do not want this word applied to me. Yet, when the only word that applied to me was “sinner” you died for me and gave me a new name: “Child of God.” Help me cling to this reality as I struggle with this new word, “Depression.” Hold me tight in your nail-scarred hands as I come to grips with what this word reveals about me. Help me find solace in your unchanging love. Amen.