Get help.

Let’s be honest, shall we? Satan attacks you powerfully, and if he can use depression to drive you from Christ, to think you need to carry your own weight, don’t you think he’s going to do it? You are not immune to the pressures of mental illness.

I understand.

You’re not supposed to need this kind of help. You help others. You should know better!

If you fell and broke a bone, you would feel no shame going to a doctor to get the necessary medical aid. If you battle depression, get help.

This may be the most difficult step to deal with depression. It means admitting we can’t do it on our own. And as much as we say we depend on Christ, we think we must be strong.

We are wrong.

Brennan Manning writes,

Honesty brings an end to pretense through a candid acknowledgment of our fragile humanity. It is always unpleasant, and usually painful, and that is why I am not very good at it. But to stand in the truth before God and one another has a unique reward. It is the reward which a sense of reality always brings. I know something extremely precious. I am in touch with myself as I am.

I have found one of the best ways to get help is to simply have a friend (or more than one!) with whom I can speak candidly. If you’re having a bad day, have someone that you can call up (or if you’re more like me, chat online with). I remember at a previous congregation calling a brother up and saying, “Today’s a good day for a beer. Want to grab one with me?” We went out, grabbed some drinks, and talked. And it’s what I needed. Simply having a place to lay down all the masks of “I’m ok” and let out what’s really going on inside can relieve so much pressure.

Obviously, this is not the same as counseling, professional or otherwise. Don’t regard this as something that will fix you. Oftentimes counseling is needed; we’ll get to that.

If you’ve got depression and you’re an introvert like I am, calling up a friend doesn’t sound attractive at all.

Talking to someone face-to-face isn’t always the best thing, nor is it always practical. God has placed us at a time in history where we don’t need to use phones nor gallop on horseback to be able to let off steam to one another. I often use the chat feature on Facebook when I’m feeling down; it doesn’t trip off my “introvert sensors” but can still give very real support. That won’t work for everyone, but it may be worth a try.

No matter how you connect with this trusted friend, let me urge you: be honest with them. Be open about your struggles. Let out the lies you’ve been struggling with.

If you’re a friend that someone is sharing with, let me urge you: Don’t seek to correct.

God didn’t correct Elijah immediately. Don’t give some pithy advice. Jesus didn’t tell Martha to cheer up. Instead, listen. Then listen some more. After that, keep listening. And when your friend has spoken what they need to speak, then speak. Do it gently. If your friend has confessed a sin, by all means, grant absolution. Point them to how Jesus has died for that sin, too. If you see a sin that needs to be confessed after all that, certainly address it, but again, gently. Be a friend, because that’s what’s needed at that moment.

I hope you have a friend like that. But I hope, if you have depression, you also receive some professional help. I received formal counseling from a pastor for about two or three months. It wasn’t long, but this counseling helped me identify the lies my heart spoke and helped me learn how to use God’s Word against those particular lies. Please involve your pastor in this process if you have a pastor; while they probably don’t have formal training in depression counseling, they can point you to God’s sure promises.

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Of course, you may want or need to speak to a trained counselor.

I didn’t need that where I was. You may be resistant to do so. Just as we’re not ashamed if we need to take the car to a specialist or call in a plumber because something is blocked beyond our ability to fix, we should not be ashamed to ask for help if our depression has grown to be too much. A professional can help you see the lies your heart speaks.

Sometimes one of the fears that keep us from seeing a professional counselor is the possibility of medication. Depression medication can be terrifying. Many of us have seen those medications backfire; they can take away our fire, cause deeper depression, spark a more fiery temper, or have no effect at all. It can take weeks or months to discover if a medication is effective. If they are not effective, it can take just as long to wean off.

Should a person take antidepressants?

Let me ask this a different way: Should a person with a medical problem make use of medication?

Now allow me some sarcasm: Dur.

God has granted us the blessings of doctors and scientists who have been able to make medications and apply them well. I would urge caution and education. Not every medication is right for every individual, and good timing might help the process.

Pray for wisdom.

Investigate the possible side effects, along with the timeline to discover effectiveness and the side effects for going off the medication. In my case, I visited a psychiatrist who gave me two prescriptions. “Investigate these. You’re borderline; you don’t need these, but they can help you. If you want, try one of these. If not, don’t.” Both medications had a 30% chance of increased aggression, and I chose not to make use of either. I was in a situation with high stress, and increased aggression would not have helped! However, I was put on a vitamin D supplement I still take every day.

As of this writing, though, my depression has increased. Last week I started medication – a different one than was recommended before. It’s too early to tell if this medication will work for me, but I know that medication, in general, is a blessing God has provided.

Talk to your counselors. Get an opinion outside yourself. If you’re blessed with a spouse, ask them for their opinion. Your spouse may tell you, “Dear, get the meds.” And pray. Keep praying.

And know this:

We needed help. We could not save ourselves. Jesus has saved us.

If we’re not ashamed of needing that help, why would we be ashamed of needing help to deal with depression?

Don’t think you’re strong enough to go alone. Get help. Don’t wait. Get help.