Betrayal

This is a story of betrayal.

You may be familiar with the events of the night when Judas traded his master for thirty pieces of silver – and with a friend’s kiss, no less. But to understand the weight of that moment, we have to see the path that led Judas to that moment. We may even see how easily the path could be our own.

Judas was no half-hearted tag along, just following the crowds for a spectacle. Jesus had called Judas into his inner circle, and Judas gave up everything to follow Jesus. He left a home, a career, and who knows what else, to invest himself completely in a mission of global and eternal significance. As part of that circle of twelve, he had been empowered by Jesus to do amazing things. He had traveled Judea, Samaria, Galilee, and beyond, preaching boldly about the kingdom of God, witnessing miracles, even performing miracles and casting out demons!

Judas heard firsthand thousands of hours of the teachings of Jesus. He witnessed events that cannot be explained by any science, not then, not now. Storms calmed. Diseases cured. Disabilities healed. Food multiplied. The dead raised to life. Judas heard Jesus teach that narrow is the road that leads to life, but wide the road to destruction. He heard Jesus warn about not loving this life too much. He heard the warnings not let money be your master.

But somewhere along the road something went wrong. He had all the right teaching from the best teacher that ever lived. He saw all the proof anyone could ever ask for. He made all the right commitments. He was part of a community devoted to Jesus. But the heart is deceitful, and beyond understanding. Sin turned inward and allowed to grow has a way of consuming us.

At some point Judas saw the glint of the coins he kept, heard the jingle of the money pouch he was responsible for keeping on behalf of Jesus and the disciples. A little here, a little there, just to help himself once in a while. Maybe he felt guilt the first few times. Maybe it got easier after a while. Maybe he spent nights lying awake justifying it to himself, until it no longer kept him awake at night.

It’s been said that the sin we condemn the loudest tends to look like our own. One day, when Judas saw what he considered a misuse of money, he spoke up loudly. It was the day before Jesus was going to ride into Jerusalem, set to win salvation for the deceitful hearts of all people. His friend Mary lovingly poured expensive perfume on his feet, and Judas was indignant.

“That’s valuable!” he cried. “We could have sold it! The money could have been used for… for the poor!”

But no, that’s not what he had in mind. He was really just thinking of his own appetites, and a fuller pouch at his side from which to feed them. Jesus must have known. How could Judas think he wouldn’t?

Maybe the rebuke was the final straw for Judas. Maybe the discomfort of having his heart exposed by Jesus was too much to bear. Or maybe it was a fork in the road – reach out to Jesus in repentance, or take another path and see where it leads.

That night Satan entered Judas. He was consumed. He gave his deceitful heart over completely to the deceiver, all the while I’m sure thinking that he had every good reason for what he was doing. “I’ve given him three long years,” I’m sure he said to himself. “I sacrificed everything for this call. I deserve a little comfort once in a while. How dare he embarrass me like that? He couldn’t know what it’s like, anyway, to struggle like I do. My life was so much better before he came along.”

Judas went to the chief priests, who had already been plotting a way to kill Jesus. “How much will you pay me to turn him over to you?” A deal was struck, a plan hastily put together. Sin turned inward, full grown, all consuming – now acted upon.

But now we come to a moment when redemption was closer for Judas than it had ever been. There are Jesus and his disciples, sharing the Passover meal in the upper room. Together they flow through the customs of the Passover, remembering how sin enslaves but God redeems. How sin demands punishment, but God gives release through sacrifice. How God is faithful to his people even when they are faithless. Even when they betray.

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And Jesus looks around, his heart breaking, tears in his eyes. “One of you will betray me.”

A flurry of whispers and startled stares. Nudges around the table. “Who is it? Ask him? No, you ask him? What could he mean?”

“It’s the one sharing bread with me. Sitting next to me. The one I give this bread to.” And Jesus dips a piece of bread into a bowl of oil… and hands it to Judas.

There sits Judas, looking into the eyes of Jesus. Looking into the eyes of salvation. This is your chance, Judas. Jesus is calling you back. Jesus is going to the cross no matter what, Judas, you don’t have to do this! Jesus is greater than your sin, just open your mouth and say it, say it, Judas! Repent! Beg forgiveness! Let go of your sin! Grab hold of Jesus! Can you not see it? Don’t you see the chance Jesus is giving you? It doesn’t have to end this way!

This is what Jesus does, Judas! He looks at sinners, failures, greedy, lustful, deceitful, sin-consumed betrayers like you and me and he calls out to you, “Come back!!” This is redemption. You are not too far gone.

Judas swallows, stares at Jesus. “Not me. Surely you can’t mean me?”

The moment has passed. Judas has turned back inward to his sin. Events are in motion that will bring about the salvation of all mankind… but Judas has chosen his role.

And Jesus his. Betrayed by a man he had spent three years pouring into. Betrayed by man he had entrusted with a divine powers and a divine message and a divine mission. Betrayed by a friend. How it must have hurt. How his heart must have ached to watch the light go out in Judas’s eyes.

But betrayal by this friend was the next step to the cross. The next step in taking the wrath of God over sin. The next step in winning life and salvation for all people. Knowing that this betrayal, this hurt, was a necessary part of the grand plan of redemption, Jesus let Judas go.

“Get out of here. You have things to do. Get to them.” Jesus dismisses Judas, and Judas goes.

It isn’t too many hours later that they see each other again. Judas approaches Jesus as a friend, and even though it’s just an act, Jesus allows it. Judas kisses him as any two Jewish friends would.

And Jesus tries again.

“Judas, do you betray the Son of Man with a kiss?” Jesus knows that he is going to the cross. He knows that he will pay for every sin, even this sin. Even this betrayal. So he reaches, ready, eager, willing to forgive. So he calls out to Judas. “Really, Judas? Is this how you’re going to do this? We all know now what you’re doing. Just give it up. Let it go. Give it to me. I will take your sin. I will take you back.”

But Judas steps out of the scene. Remorse and despair crash down on him, heavier than the weight of a hundred chests of silver. The coins in his hand burn like fire and he is disgusted at his choice, his greed, his failure, his sin.

And Judas can’t forgive himself, and he can’t stand to hold the forgiveness that was held out to him. The forgiveness that was always there.

Jesus was always there.

Jesus is always there.