NBC’s “AD” review of Episode 8–The Road to Damascus

Don’t make me angry. You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.

But he/she/they don’t heed the polite and calmly spoken warning. Soon the polite and mild-mannered man changes, he becomes frightening. Screams fill the air, objects fly, people are hurt.

Growing up, I could count on this happening every Sunday night. David Banner would end up in some sort of a fix. With his hands clenched and shaking, his voice calmer than it should be, he’d deliver his obligatory warning. But of course the protagonist(s) wouldn’t listen and soon the Hulk would be teaching people a lesson that David Banner never could.

Was I watching a new episode of The Incredible Hulk last Sunday night? Simon the Magician makes Peter angry. (Don’t do that, you wouldn’t like Cephas when he’s angry.) Soon enough the skies boil, the wind rages, and eye sockets ooze blood begin.

Knowing this Sunday’s episode of A.D. – the Bible Continues would include the conversion of Saul, I was all set for an introduction and discussion about conspiracy. I wanted to get you thinking about the “why” behind conspiracies so that we could address one of the more popular criticisms against the Christian Church.

But then lightnings flashed and thunders crashed, and the normally mild-mannered fisherman began to kick some butt.

You see what the problem is here, don’t you? It’s not simply that A.D. is using artistic license to introduce more drama into the storyline. That I can deal with, like Joanna busted for praying.

This isn’t just bad drama this is bad theology. That’s not Peter’s alter ego that’s clouding up the skies and making your orifices bleed; that’s the Holy Spirit…

• Third Person of the Holy Trinity,
• Who once hovered over the darkness moments (or was it centuries?) before God said “Let there be light”,
• Who alighted on Jesus at His baptism,
• Who Jesus promised would come and lead these men into the truth, (John 16:13)
• Who would teach the apostles and recall to their minds all that Jesus had done and taught. (John 14:26)
• Who is responsible for the “believe” in I believe in the Holy Spirit, the Holy Christian Church, the Communion of Saints, the forgiveness of sins, the resurrection of the body, and the life everlasting.

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That’s the Bible. In A.D. the Holy Spirit is the outward expression of Saint Peter’s mood. When you’re being good and telling the truth and sharing what you said you’d share, well then a gentle breeze blows and Peter smiles at you.

Just don’t make him angry. You wouldn’t like him when he’s angry.

Let me cut to the chase. NOWHERE in Scripture will you find God the Holy Spirit becoming the lap dog of Peter (or John, or Paul, or anyone else for that matter).

By turning Him into that, by melding the Holy Spirit to the mood swings of Peter, A.D. has told anyone foolish enough to get their theology from a Sunday night T.V. show that Peter is now the direct connection to God’s power. (Remember, just don’t make him angry!)

And now we have the groundwork for a human being on earth who can channel God. This guy—along with his successor—can decide what God has-and-has-not said. This guy can give us new doctrines. This guy decides that liars must died and that murderers should go free. Lets build him a cathedral to sit in. Lets kiss his ring (if he’ll let us). Lets beg him—no, lets pay him—to sign a piece of paper granting us time out of purgatory because if Peter says we’re forgiven…well now we know we are.

Meanwhile, back on the ranch; Jesus’ death and resurrection “for you” are obscured, the Church is enslaved again to the teachings of men, God the Holy Spirit becomes a super-power residing in one man on earth, and it won’t be long before someone has the gall to excommunicate people who dare to teach that we are saved by grace alone! (Sadly, we’re no longer talking fiction—this is Church history.)

Yuck! Yuck!! Yuck!!!

OK, enough of “Peter Banner” or “Cephas Hulk” or whoever that is. What else? Lets see…

Caligula really was a dirt-bag of the lowest kind, but he and Grandpa Tiberius never visited Jerusalem, therefore Caligula never had this kind of vendetta for Pilate. What else???

Saul! I was so distracted by the mutant fisherman that I almost forgot about “Sun-Stroke Saul”. The true account is in Acts chapter 9. You can probably tell that I’m not impressed with how A.D. depicted things. He wasn’t delirious from the desert heat, wasn’t driven half mad so that even the people who orchestrated Jesus’ crucifixion are saying, “Whoa, Saul; ease up a little bit.”

Saul was perfectly sane, doing what his sinful nature told him to do: Oppose unmerited/undeserved grace. This is how Jesus found him/came to him. (BTW, his traveling companions heard the voice too.) God really did strike him blind for three days, Saul really did reject food during that time, and Ananias really was sent to Saul so that Saul’s sight might be restored and so that he could be baptized. (Read Acts 9 & Acts 22:1-16)

This A.D. version of Saul worries me. What impression might your own unbelieving/unknowing friends have if A.D. is what they think Christianity is?

• Its chief advocate is going to be an obsessive/compulsive man who may-or-may-not have suffered a psychotic break.
• Its supposed leader would make a great character in the next X-Men movie (providing he learns to control his powers/temper).
• Meanwhile, in church, liars drop dead while 3,000+ people would be sacrificed to shelter a murderer.

And there are still five episodes left! At least A.D. is being as equally inaccurate with secular history as it is with Biblical history.

One last thought before we go, a “set-up” or “tease” for next week’s review… Think about this question: Why do people conspire to do something?

• Why did Japan conspire with Nazi Germany?
• Why did President Nixon conspire to tape conversations held in the Watergate Hotel?
• Why did President Clinton conspire to meet privately with Monica Lewinsky?

Why do people conspire? Think about that question, I promise we’ll unpack it next week; even if John develops x-ray vision or Mary leaps tall buildings in a single bound.